The bride is set on marrying in Mexico, despite the excessive cost for her loved ones, the cousin explained in a Reddit post
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Upset bride (stock image)
A bride is “dead set” on having an “expensive” destination wedding in Mexico — even though her cousin has told her that many of their family members will not attend due to the cost.
In a recent post on Reddit, the bride’s cousin shared that the bride refuses to be dissuaded from her plans to get married in another country, despite the bulk of her extended family all living “in the same state and same place” and having budget constraints.
For context, the cousin began by explaining that she and the bride “come from a pretty large family” with lots of fellow cousins who all grew up together “essentially like siblings” and remain “very close.” The bride is the first among the group to be getting married.
According to the cousin, the bride wants to have her wedding in Mexico in November of next year — “right before the holidays, which is already an expensive period in the year.” She wrote that “a lot of [their family members] don’t have the money/time to throw at a resort in Mexico for 3 days for a wedding, especially right before the holidays.”
“I don’t even have $1k+ to spend on 3 days for a wedding in Mexico. I get it’s the bride’s big day and all of that, but I’m having a really hard time being supportive of the plan when I don’t even think I’ll be able to afford it, nor any of our family,” she explained.
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A beach wedding (stock image)
The cousin said that despite the bride “making a huge deal about how she wants everyone in the same place for several days because our family is close,” nothing can convince her to change her plans.
“She refuses to do her wedding in the state or close by to where any of our family is. Just straight up refuses, will not hear any other logic,” the cousin wrote, adding that she has consistently advised the bride against a Mexico wedding since the very start.
“When she first pitched this plan to me, I pretty much said I see where she’s coming from but she shouldn’t be surprised if a lot of the family can’t make it,” she noted. “She got pretty upset with me for taking that stance … and she also said if people can’t afford it it’s not her problem.”
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The cousin concluded her post, “I’m not sure what to do here,” inviting opinions about how she should navigate the disagreement with the bride.
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A wedding reception (stock image)
In the comments of the post, many people agreed that the bride is being unreasonable in this situation and that the cousin has no obligation to worry about the outcome of the bride’s destination wedding scheme.
“If she’s already stated that nobody else’s finances are ‘her problem,’ then you need to stop considering her attendance rate your problem,” one person advised. “She chose Mexico knowing it would be expensive and inconvenient. She can accept that the consequences of this choice will be a lower attendance rate.”
“There is nothing for you to ‘do’ here,” they continued. “You are not the one planning this wedding, and from the sound of it, you probably won’t be able to attend yourself. All you can do is give her your RSVP in a timely fashion, and otherwise let her figure it out. She is an adult.”
Another commenter suggested that the bride has lost sight of what’s really important.
“She’s right that it’s ‘not her problem if they can’t afford to go,’ but she might need to think on what’s more important, the people or the place,” they wrote, adding, “Why not just honeymoon to Mexico?”
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A bride and groom (stock image)
Several people, however, noted that they could understand why the bride got upset, suggesting that the cousin was giving her relative “unsolicited advice” which would be taken as “criticism.”
“If she asked you for your opinion, then [that’s one thing]. However, you offered up that you think a lot of people from your side of the family won’t make it most likely out of being upset that you cannot financially prioritize the trip and you’re hoping she’ll change the destination,” someone wrote. “If you need to vent about your frustration, do so to your support network, but let her and her future husband plan the wedding they want.”
Another Redditor told the cousin that, going forward, she should only speak on behalf of herself, not the rest of her family. “I understand why you said what you said, and it’s probably good that you did. However, from now on, you should only talk for yourself,” they wrote.
They then advised the cousin to step back and let things play out naturally.
“Wait and see first — if more family members say they can’t afford to come and express that sentiment to the bride (this is crucial here), she might come to her senses,” the commenter wrote. “You can’t have a wedding in Mexico and expect it to be a big family reunion when your family is struggling with money. If she thinks having her family around is more important than getting married in Mexico, she may change her mind about the destination.”
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