\n<\/p>\n
When Nadya Tolokonnikova, one of founding members of the anti-establishment punk collective Pussy Riot, reached out to John Caldwell on Discord, an encrypted messaging app, he asked if she was a bot.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe just said \u2018haha,\u2019\u201d said Mr. Caldwell, who was already familiar with her work. \u201cI was very suspicious.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ms. Tolokonnikova had developed an interest<\/a> in cryptocurrency and blockchain and had heard about Mr. Caldwell, a partner at a financial services company who specialized in crypto, from a friend. \u201cI was jumping on Zooms with random people with no romantic intentions, just learning about crypto,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n They met for dinner a few days later, in mid-September 2021. \u201cIt ended horribly,\u201d Mr. Caldwell said. \u201cShe faked a call to Europe and left.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n Ms. Tolokonnikova, an activist, musician and artist, described herself as a \u201csuper introverted person,\u201d and said she normally spaces out meetings with new people. But at the time, she was in the process of crash educating herself on a new topic, and had therefore scheduled several meetings in one day, and the dinner with Mr. Caldwell was last.<\/p>\n \u201cI was overwhelmed,\u201d she said. So she left abruptly. But, she said, \u201cit was not a reflection on John at all.\u201d In fact, she had been intrigued by their conversation about reproductive rights and religion, and by Mr. Caldwell\u2019s suggestion that she tap into the deep pockets of the crypto world to raise funds for causes she was interested in.<\/p>\n Despite Mr. Caldwell\u2019s sense that the meeting had been a disaster, Ms. Tolokonnikova reached out again, and the two decided to work together on a new venture: UnicornDAO<\/a>, a fund-raising and investment vehicle focused on female, nonbinary and L.G.B.T.Q. artists and creators.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n Nadezhda Tolokonnikova, 34, was born in Norilsk, Russia, and studied philosophy at Moscow State University. At 22, before she could complete her degree, she was imprisoned for nearly two years for her role in \u201cPunk Prayer,\u201d a public performance piece that protested the Russian government\u2019s close relationship with the Russian Orthodox Church (the protest was also the subject of an HBO documentary<\/a> in 2013). In 2014, she and another Pussy Riot member, Maria Alyokhina, founded an independent news outlet in Russia called Mediazona<\/a>. Ms. Tolokonnikova was married previously to Pyotr Verzilov. They split up in 2016.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n Ms. Tolokonnikova\u2019s continued outspokenness against President Vladimir V. Putin and his government landed her on Russia\u2019s list of \u201cforeign agents,\u201d a label the authorities use to suppress opposition figures, according to rights groups. Because of concerns for her safety, she does not disclose where she lives. In 2019, she received an honorary doctorate from the Rhode Island School of Design, fulfilling a personal dream. She is currently working on a memoir.<\/p>\n John Ferguson Caldwell, 40, was born in Providence, R.I., but grew up in Pacific Palisades, Calif. Mr. Caldwell graduated from Pepperdine University in 2006 with a bachelor\u2019s degree in art. He worked in surfing tourism in the Marshall Islands, managing a private island and organizing luxury yacht charters, until the pandemic began. After returning to the United States in March 2020, his interest in cryptocurrency and blockchain led him to join Wave, a financial services company. He is a founder of RFLXT, a company that is building a platform of artificial intelligence and crypto tools for creators.<\/p>\n After Russia invaded Ukraine in February 2022, Mr. Caldwell and Ms. Tolokonnikova led an effort to raise $7.1 million in cryptocurrency for Ukraine. The crypto wallet they used for the fund-raiser publicly listed Mr. Caldwell\u2019s name. \u201cAll my friends were like, \u2018The Russian government will put you on a list,\u2019\u201d Mr. Caldwell said. \u201cI don\u2019t think it\u2019s a coincidence that was the moment Nadya got little hearts in her eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat was a very clear moment for me,\u201d Ms. Tolokonnikova said. \u201cI really cherish kindness and bravery and consistency and high moral values in people.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n Mr. Caldwell, too, was full of admiration for Ms. Tolokonnikova. After she messaged him on Discord, he decided to learn more about her and watched the speech<\/a> she gave at her trial in Russia in 2012, in which Ms. Tolokonnikova described herself and her fellow Pussy Riot activists as \u201cfreer than the people sitting opposite us and representing the prosecution because we can say everything we like, and we do.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n \u201cIt\u2019s one of the most inspiring moments in humanity\u2019s recent history,\u201d Mr. Caldwell said. \u201cAnd that\u2019s just in the background. She\u2019s funny and beautiful and smart and goth \u2014 and now vegan.\u201d Mr. Caldwell has been vegan for more than two decades and succeeded in converting Ms. Tolokonnikova to the diet in the fall of 2022.<\/p>\n Now they enjoy eating at new vegan restaurants together. \u201cJohn knows every single place for vegan food on planet earth, and it\u2019s always the best,\u201d Ms. Tolokonnikova said.<\/p>\n They also like to stage political actions together; in November, for example, they protested<\/a> against restrictions on abortion rights in front of Indiana\u2019s Supreme Court building. \u201cWe brought a giant inflatable vagina, and I came up with the contraption to inflate it, so I was holding it,\u201d Mr. Caldwell said.<\/p>\n \u201cHis friends called him the Man Behind the Pussy,\u201d Ms. Tolokonnikova said.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n Both struggle with depression and other mental health issues and find comfort in helping others. \u201cMost people, if one of the members of their partnership was put on a criminal wanted list in their country and exiled and couldn\u2019t visit their home and their family and everything they knew, they would consider it a challenge,\u201d Mr. Caldwell said. \u201cBut it\u2019s just our reality. We\u2019re not sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves. We just want to be helpful.\u201d<\/p>\n He added that he does not prioritize happiness. Instead, he said, \u201cI prioritize ideals and being useful and creative and being supportive of people around me.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n Ms. Tolokonnikova said she found Mr. Caldwell\u2019s approach comforting. \u201cI don\u2019t even necessarily know what happiness is,\u201d she said. \u201cI spend most of my time on my art or my activism. I don\u2019t spend much of my time on human activities, like going to a bar or just having fun.\u201d<\/p>\n And so, fun was the top priority for Mr. Caldwell\u2019s proposal. \u201cNadya has been through a lot,\u201d he said. \u201cI wanted to give her something cute and nice and kind of traditional.\u201d<\/p>\n A few days before a trip to London, Mr. Caldwell commissioned Alligator Jesus, a jewelry designer and friend, to create an engagement ring for Ms. Tolokonnikova. Within 24 hours, Alligator Jesus delivered a black gold ring with diamonds and a pink sapphire. Mr. Caldwell also asked Gera Riot, Ms. Tolokonnikova\u2019s 15-year-old daughter, for permission to propose, which she granted.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n On Nov. 11, Mr. Caldwell and Ms. Tolokonnikova were joined by Marina Abramovic, a close friend who, Ms. Tolokonnikova said, \u201cspiritually adopted\u201d the couple, in central London. They were there to see a short art film, \u201cNadya Means Hope<\/a>,\u201d in which Ms. Tolokonnikova burns a candle in the shape of an eggplant emoji, play on an enormous screen in Piccadilly Circus. At the end of the video, a poem written by Mr. Caldwell appeared on the screen, followed by the words \u201cWill You Marry Me?\u201d in Russian and English. Mr. Caldwell got on his knee and took out the ring.<\/p>\n \u201cI fell on the ground because I was so surprised,\u201d Ms. Tolokonnikova said. Literally. And then she said, \u201cDa!\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n They were legally married on Jan. 12 at a courthouse in Los Angeles. Afterward, Nathan Monk, a priest who left the Russian Orthodox Church because he did not support its stance on gay marriage, led a short ceremony in their friend\u2019s yard in front of about 200 guests.<\/p>\n \u201cHe spoke about Ukraine, about the fact that this love was brought together by challenges of the modern world, but also our common wish to make the world a little bit better, more just,\u201d Ms. Tolokonnikova said.<\/p>\n Ms. Tolokonnikova\u2019s daughter made the party\u2019s playlist, which featured Soviet pop and contemporary Russian trap. For food, Ms. Tolokonnikova suggested serving pickles and vodka, but Mr. Caldwell insisted on something more robust.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n He asked Wendell Hooper, a friend who is a chef, to cater. \u201cHe answered my call a week before,\u201d Mr. Caldwell said. \u201cHe said, \u2018This is normally planned six months in advance,\u2019 and I said, \u2018Welcome to Pussy Riot.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n They served vegan meatballs, vegan charcuterie, vegan shrimp and eggplant caviar. Ms. Tolokonnikova baked a large vegan Napoleon cake, dyed it black and assembled it in the shape of a cross, a symbol she uses often in her artwork.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n The dress code was \u201cgopnik,\u201d a word that encapsulates a style of dress, music and art reflecting the working class in the former Soviet states in the 1980s and 1990s. Mr. Caldwell asked Mark Hunter, a.k.a. the Cobrasnake<\/a>, to serve as wedding photographer. \u201cI like his pop-event club style.\u201d<\/p>\n Guests showed up in tracksuits, house slippers, Adidas slides and newsboy caps, and one brought an accordion. Ms. Tolokonnikova wore a corset top from Adidas, a skirt from Depop with a petticoat over it, a faux leather jacket and velvet, high-platform Doc Martens.<\/p>\n She sewed three stripes \u2014 the Adidas trademark \u2014 along the arms of a suit jacket for Mr. Caldwell, using a skill she picked up in prison. \u201cI thought I would never sew again,\u201d she said. But for this occasion, she was happy to.<\/p>\n \u201cEverybody was saying it was the most comfortable party they\u2019ve been to,\u201d Ms. Tolokonnikova said. \u201cIt was absurd and goofy at times, and the overall vibe was very cozy.\u201d<\/p>\n Binge more Vows columns here<\/em><\/a><\/strong> and <\/em><\/strong>read all our wedding, relationship and divorce coverage here<\/em><\/a><\/strong>.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n When <\/strong>Jan. 12, 2024<\/p>\n Where <\/strong>Los Angeles<\/p>\n Breaking Bread <\/strong>A friend gave Ms. Tolokonnikova and Mr. Caldwell a loaf of dense rye bread, which they pulled from opposite sides until it broke. Per Russian tradition, whoever ends up with a bigger chunk will be in charge. \u201cWe did it exactly equal,\u201d Ms. Tolokonnikova said. \u201cWell, maybe mine was a little bit bigger.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n Bitter Cries <\/strong>At Russian weddings, when guests shout the word \u201cgorko,\u201d or \u201cbitter,\u201d the newly married couple should immediately kiss. But not all the guests at Ms. Tolokonnikova and Mr. Caldwell\u2019s international wedding understood what the word meant. \u201cThey would scream at me and he\u2019d be at the opposite side of the house,\u201d Ms. Tolokonnikova said.<\/p>\n Master of Ceremonies<\/strong> A friend of the couple\u2019s who is a translator and speaks Russian and English, Max Lawton, acted as the \u201ctamada,\u201d or toastmaster, in the Georgian tradition. Besides organizing the toasts, Mr. Lawton led the guests in playing games, like one in which people hold a balloon in their lap and others try to sit on it until it pops.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nOn This Day<\/h2>\n