\n<\/p>\n
Sandra Dolores Yawn has been locked up, left for dead on a Florida highway and chased through the Red Sea by pirates.<\/p>\n
In the summer of 2018, Leah Rae Shafer reached out on Facebook to send Ms. Yawn her blessings. Not because she thought Ms. Yawn, who goes by Captain Sandy, needed her well wishes, but because she had started watching \u201cBelow Deck Mediterranean\u201d on Bravo.<\/p>\n
The show follows a crew tasked with catering to a revolving cadre of guests who have chartered a superyacht. Ms. Yawn, a star of the series, is at the helm. Ms. Shafer had written to congratulate her on the show\u2019s success. There was another reason, too. \u201cI thought she was hot,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
Ms. Yawn, 59, has been a yacht captain for more than 30 years. Her foray into television, which started in 2017, was not exactly foreordained. Until her mid-20s, \u201cI was a mess,\u201d Ms. Yawn said. \u201cI was always in trouble. I got kicked out of 11th grade. I didn\u2019t go to college.\u201d At 13, at the start of an adolescence spent between Dundee, Fla., where her father lived, and Bradenton, Fla., where her mother lived, she started drinking. By 17, \u201cI was getting arrested so many times I couldn\u2019t even count how many,\u201d she said. Usually a parent bailed her out. Her father\u2019s refusal to do so after one drunken incident landed her a night in jail.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
In 1989, when she was 25, the revolving door of South Florida treatment centers she had been pushing through quit spinning when a counselor told her she couldn\u2019t return. \u201cShe said, \u2018Sandy, as soon as you get some money in your pocket you\u2019re going to start drinking again,\u2019\u201d Ms. Yawn said.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Fearing real jail time, she joined Alcoholics Anonymous. To start paying off the thousands of dollars she owed in legal fees and addiction treatment center bills, she got a job washing boats in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. By 30, she had earned her captain\u2019s license from Maritime Professional Training, a school in Fort Lauderdale for mariners and yachting professionals.<\/p>\n
Rehab \u2014 she still has an A.A. sponsor and attends meetings whenever possible \u2014 helped her pin down the roots of her teenage rebellion. \u201cI think a big part of my drinking was that I couldn\u2019t accept my sexuality,\u201d she said. \u201cWhen I got sober is when I accepted that, oh my gosh, I actually prefer women.\u201d<\/p>\n
For Ms. Shafer, that level of acceptance took much longer. It also cost her a career as a gospel singer.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Ms. Shafer, 50, is the entrepreneur behind a skin care line, Skin by Leah, and a jewelry business started with a friend, Cuff Me. When she messaged Ms. Yawn to congratulate her on the success of \u201cBelow Deck Mediterranean\u201d in 2018, she and her husband of 20 years, then living with their teenage daughter in Denver, were going through a divorce. The relationship had gone stale years earlier, Ms. Shafer said, but fear and uncertainty prevented her from leaving.<\/p>\n
\u201cI had the security of not worrying financially, because he took care of everything,\u201d she said. Her gospel career at a nondenominational church had taken off when she was still in high school in Hesperia, Calif. But that was mostly a labor of love.<\/p>\n
\u201cI toured and went to college at the same time,\u201d said Ms. Shafer, who graduated from California State University, Northridge, with a bachelor\u2019s degree in liberal arts.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
By her 30s, she was recording albums, touring megachurches and singing at major Christian conferences. A flirtation with secular performance in the 2000s landed her on the 2003-04 revival of \u201cStar Search\u201d and later a recurring role on NBC\u2019s \u201cThe Singing Bee.\u201d<\/p>\n
But \u201cI loved God and I loved inspiring people, and the platform I was given was on the stage of churches,\u201d she said. The only problem: \u201cThere was really no money in that.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Before their divorce was final in 2019, she and her husband tried therapy and prayed together. Finally, in 2018, \u201cI just jumped,\u201d she said. \u201cI took a leap of faith. I wanted freedom.\u201d<\/p>\n
She found it financially first. Skin by Leah Studio, her Lone Tree, Colo. facial salon that she founded in 2017, was successful right away, she said. When she first saw Ms. Yawn on TV, she was settling into life as an entrepreneur. She didn\u2019t expect to get a response to her Facebook message. But when she got one three months later, in October 2018, it came with an invitation.<\/p>\n
In addition to her job as a TV star, Ms. Yawn had started touring with \u201cI Believe,\u201d a series of motivational talks she created to inspire women in leadership positions. When she finally read Ms. Shafer\u2019s message \u2014 thousands had been piling up, she said, but something drew her to Ms. Shafer\u2019s \u2014 she was in the market for an entertainer for the talks.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
In her message, Ms. Shafer had included a video of herself singing the national anthem at a 2014 Denver Broncos game. Once Ms. Yawn clicked the link, she replied right away. \u201cShe gave me her phone number and said, \u2018I heard you sing,\u2019\u201d Ms. Shafer said. \u201c\u2018Let\u2019s meet up and talk about how we can do something together.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
The two continued to talk on the phone and over email. Ms. Yawn was then living in Los Angeles. Ms. Shafer had been planning a Disneyland vacation with her daughter, Lauren, in November, a trip that gave her an excuse to meet Ms. Yawn in person.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Both say they fell in love seconds after Ms. Shafer pulled into Ms. Yawn\u2019s driveway in mid-November 2018. \u201cI offered to park her car for her, and that\u2019s when we hugged,\u201d Ms. Yawn said. \u201cI felt this energy I had never felt. I knew I had to pay attention to that.\u201d<\/p>\n
It was a life-changing hug for Ms. Shafer, too. \u201cIt was not a normal feeling when I met Sandy,\u201d she said. \u201cShe wasn\u2019t the stern captain you see on TV. She was just so fun and so beautiful. That hug melted me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Over dinner at Catch, a Los Angeles seafood restaurant, they acknowledged their attraction. \u201cI was really honest with her,\u201d Ms. Yawn said. But Ms. Shafer wasn\u2019t ready to date a woman. \u201cI knew I wanted to be with her,\u201d she said. \u201cI was just freaked out.\u201d<\/p>\n
By the end of the evening, Ms. Yawn told her she should take her time. It had been two years since Ms. Yawn\u2019s last relationship. \u201cSo at that point I was like, \u2018Why rush it?\u2019\u201d she said. \u201cI was older and I\u2019ve learned a lot of lessons. One was, let things happen naturally. Slow and steady wins the race.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Six months later, the race was over. The women were in a committed relationship, and Ms. Yawn had moved to a place near Ms. Shafer\u2019s in Denver. It was smooth sailing until the end of 2019, when news of the couple\u2019s relationship started circulating in entertainment media.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
The public outing ended Ms. Shafer\u2019s gospel career. \u201cI knew the minute I came out as being in love with a woman it would be over, and it was,\u201d she said. Her six CDs, sold in dozens of church bookstores, were pulled from shelves and shipped to her doorstep. Christian radio stations stopped playing her music.<\/p>\n
\u201cI had worked for 35 years,\u201d she said. \u201cAnd it was over.\u201d<\/p>\n
Most painful of all were comments after her father\u2019s death from Covid in 2020. \u201cPeople in the church told me he died because of my sins,\u201d she said. \u201cBut he had met and come to accept Sandy before he passed, and I thank God that happened.\u201d Now, \u201cmy family adores Sandy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ms. Yawn lost both her parents to heart attacks before she became a TV star \u2014 her father in 2006, and her mother in 2009. In 2015, she was en route to the Miami Boat Show on her motorcycle when she was hit by a car. The driver left the scene. \u201cI felt my mother\u2019s presence while I was flipping through the air, and I felt peaceful,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
When she hit the pavement, she had a fractured pelvis and her foot \u201cwas on sideways,\u201d she said. By then, though, she was used to navigating life and death scenarios, including fires at sea and run-ins with pirates. She credits her fortitude and empathy, qualities highlighted on \u201cBelow Deck Mediterranean,\u201d which she joined in 2017, to her sobriety. \u201cI\u2019ve got nothing to hide and everything to share,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
In 2022, Ms. Yawn and Ms. Shafer bought a house together in Parker, Colo. In September 2023, while Ms. Yawn was filming in Greece, Ms. Shafer flew overseas to visit. Ms. Yawn proposed with a diamond engagement ring on the beach, with violin players in the background.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Binge more Vows columns here<\/em><\/a><\/strong> and <\/em><\/strong>read all our wedding, relationship and divorce coverage here<\/em><\/a><\/strong>.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n On May 11, Ms. Shafer and Ms. Yawn were married in Fort Lauderdale aboard She\u2019s a 10 Too, a superyacht lent to the couple by their friend Carolyn Aronson. Fifty-five guests, the maximum allowed aboard the vessel, were in attendance. Among them were \u201cBelow Deck Mediterranean\u201d castmates Aesha Scott, Kate Chastain and Dave White, known to viewers as Chef Dave. (And yes, there were cameras filming.)<\/p>\n Ms. Shafer, in a long white wedding gown by Leah Da Gloria, walked down the aisle with her two brothers, Matthew Dale and Justin Dale, to an altar decorated with white roses and hydrangeas; her daughter, now 18, was her maid of honor.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n Ms. Yawn, in a white Veronica Beard suit, was escorted down the aisle by Mark Dunham, her brother-in-law. Michelle Dunham, Ms. Yawn\u2019s sister, was her maid of honor. Most guests were barefoot, as is common on yachts. The brides and their wedding party were granted an exception.<\/p>\n Nadine Rajabi, the showrunner of \u201cBelow Deck Mediterranean,\u201d who is ordained by the Universal Life Church, married them on the yacht\u2019s bridge aft deck, a job made more difficult by the weather: wind caused her microphone to cut out and blew the pages of her speech around. But nothing could disturb the focus of the brides and their guests as they read handwritten vows.<\/p>\n Ms. Shafer told Ms. Yawn that she had taught her to be more optimistic, more playful and \u201cto jump.\u201d Ms. Yawn told Ms. Shafer that she had given her patience and grace.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n The captain had been hoping to make it through the ceremony free of tears. But that, she said shortly after they were pronounced married, was impossible. \u201cThe minute I looked at Leah and started reading her all the reasons I fell in love with her I started to cry,\u201d she said. \u201cIt\u2019s so amazing to find this kind of love in your lifetime.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n When<\/strong> May 11, 2024<\/p>\n Where<\/strong> Aboard the superyacht She\u2019s a 10 Too, in Fort Lauderdale, Fla.<\/p>\n Rescue Mission<\/strong> The couple chose \u201cShe\u2019s a Lady\u201d for their first dance during an onboard reception. Chef Dave prepared short ribs and a three-tiered, gluten-free vanilla, chocolate and strawberry cake that threatened to topple in the wind and heat (temperatures were in the 90s).<\/p>\n Cruising<\/strong> After the wedding, the brides took off for a five-day honeymoon to Little Palm Island on a yacht lent by Mr. Flynn. Ms. Yawn was at the helm, of course.<\/p>\n Onward<\/strong> In June, Ms. Yawn and Ms. Shafer will move from Denver to Ponte Vedra, Fla., to be closer to Ms. Dunham, who runs a private school for children with autism, Jacksonville School for Autism, in Jacksonville. On June 3, season nine of \u201cBelow Deck Mediterranean\u201d premieres on Bravo. And on July 1, Ms. Shafer will open a skin care studio in Ponte Vedra.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\nOn This Day<\/span><\/h3>\n