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In the first 100 days of his second term, President Trump has already signed more executive orders than any other modern president<\/a>, and this weekend, \u201cSaturday Night Live\u201d offered its suggestions for even more.<\/p>\n This broadcast, hosted by Quinta Brunson and featuring the musical guest Benson Boone, started with a rousing voice-over proclaiming that Trump\u2019s first 100 days \u201chave been the most dynamic since F.D.R.\u201d<\/p>\n During that same interval in the 1930s, the voice-over said, President Franklin D. Roosevelt \u201ccreated vital government departments, forged new alliances and established our nation\u2019s social safety net.\u201d<\/p>\n President Trump, the voice-over added, \u201cdid the same thing, only in reverse.\u201d<\/p>\n Enter James Austin Johnson, in his recurring role as Trump, congratulating himself for these accomplishments.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n \u201cIt\u2019s me, your favorite president and perhaps your next pope,\u201d he said. \u201cConclave! Well, it\u2019s been 100 years since I became president. Excuse me, days. Wow, feels longer.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n He added that \u201cpeople are saying that what I\u2019ve done so far has single-handedly helped win people elections \u2014 mostly in Canada.\u201d<\/p>\n With the help of Mikey Day, as the White House deputy chief of staff Stephen Miller, Johnson went on to announce a few new executive orders which he signed and showed off for the cameras. Among them were:<\/p>\n An executive order to bring back Columbus Day. \u201cWe have to protect Columbus Day for our great Italian American friends like Tony Soprano, Benny Blanco and Childish Gambino,\u201d Johnson explained.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n A pardon for the \u201cHarry Potter\u201d author J.K. Rowling. \u201cShe created a whole wizarding world, a wonderful place for overweight millennials to stake their entire identity well past the point of it being cute,\u201d Johnson said.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n Johnson also signed orders intended to make the New York Times Connections puzzle<\/a> easier to solve; outlaw ghosts; and shorten the word \u201crecession.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n \u201c\u2018Recession\u2019 will now be called recess,\u201d Johnson said. \u201cFun, right? So, America, get ready for a historically long recess. I call tetherball!\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n While John Mulaney has been doggedly waging a campaign for adult men, \u201cKnow Your Height,\u201d<\/a> Brunson, the \u201cAbbott Elementary\u201d creator and star, is way ahead of him: In her monologue this weekend, she told viewers that she is 4-foot-11, proud to be short and eager to inspire her fellow short people.<\/p>\n That led to a song-and-dance number in which Brunson honored other diminutive celebrities, like the gymnast Simone Biles and the rapper Kendrick Lamar, as well as the pop star Sabrina Carpenter, who joined her in a cameo appearance. \u201cWhen you read short stories, do they feel like novels?\u201d Carpenter asked the host.<\/p>\n \u201cYes!\u201d Brunson exclaimed. \u201cFinally, someone who understands.\u201d<\/p>\n The performance also featured Marcello Hern\u00e1ndez and the N.B.A. alum Dwyane Wade. Wade claimed that in the basketball world, his height, 6 foot 4, was tantamount to Brunson\u2019s. Tall or not, he was nonetheless charming in his efforts to keep up with the choreography of the finale.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n Before they were cast as the stars of the Broadway revival of \u201cWaiting For Godot,\u201d<\/a> coming this fall, Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves endeared themselves to 1980s audiences as the title characters in the time-traveling comedy \u201cBill and Ted\u2019s Excellent Adventure,\u201d where they recruited famous figures from the past to help them with a crucial high school presentation.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n That\u2019s all the historical context you should need to decode this \u201cS.N.L.\u201d parody, titled \u201cWill and Todd\u2019s Radical Experience,\u201d where two lovable slackers (Hern\u00e1ndez and Andrew Dismukes) are saying goodbye to Julius Caesar (Emil Wakim), Queen Elizabeth I (Chloe Fineman) and Leonardo da Vinci (Day) \u2014 as well as Harriet Tubman (Brunson) and Frederick Douglass (Kenan Thompson), who make clear they have no interest in returning to their time.<\/p>\n \u201cHarriet, come on, your time needs you,\u201d Dismukes urged Brunson. \u201cWhat about the Underground Railroad?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, my cousin Janet can do it,\u201d she replied. \u201cShe\u2019s real sneaky.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n Over at the Weekend Update desk, the anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che continued to riff on an image posted by President Trump on social media that depicted him as the pope and the impact of Trump\u2019s policies on the economy and the border.<\/p>\n Jost began:<\/p>\n Well, guys, it happened. Last night, President Trump posted an A.I.-generated image of himself as the pope, apparently ordering a one-way ticket to hell. Who posts a photo of themselves dressed like a guy who died a week ago? Trump was at the pope\u2019s funeral. That means he walked past an open casket and was like, \u201cOh, we should do a Who Wore It Best.\u201d It\u2019s truly like if the week Queen Elizabeth died, I posted this. [Jost\u2019s screen showed an image of himself dressed like Queen Elizabeth II.] I don\u2019t know, I just feel like as a Catholic, Trump\u2019s photo just feels slightly disrespectful. Also, if Trump really wants to be pope, he should probably stay away from JD Vance.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Che continued:<\/p>\n President Trump responded to a report showing the U.S. economy was declining by posting \u201cBE PATIENT!!!\u201d And if his brain gets any worse, he\u2019s going to be patient. [Che\u2019s screen showed an image of Trump as a patient at a psychiatric hospital.] Attorney General Pam Bondi claimed that, if not for Donald Trump seizing fentanyl at the border, 75 percent of all Americans could be dead. But, hey, don\u2019t threaten us with a good time.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n
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Opening monologue of the week<\/h2>\n
History lesson of the week<\/h2>\n
Weekend Update jokes of the week<\/h2>\n
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Weekend Update desk segment of the week<\/h2>\n