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If you\u2019re going to celebrate the election of a new pope, you might as well have some sacramental wine, too.<\/p>\n
Cecily Strong returned to \u201cSaturday Night Live\u201d in a guest appearance to reprise her role as the Fox News personality Jeanine Pirro<\/a> \u2014 and to douse Colin Jost, her former Weekend Update desk mate, in alcohol. Alcohol that emanated directly from her own mouth.<\/p>\n How the opening sketch of this weekend\u2019s \u201cS.N.L.\u201d broadcast (which was hosted by Walton Goggins and featured the musical guest Arcade Fire) arrived at this place will take a moment to explain.<\/p>\n The sketch began with what looked like a traditional Mother\u2019s Day tribute, with the cast members Kenan Thompson, Bowen Yang and Marcello Hern\u00e1ndez singing an affectionate serenade to their real-life moms, who joined them onstage.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n But no: This was just a setup for James Austin Johnson to enter the scene as President Trump, holding forth in free-association style on the past week\u2019s news.<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s a new pope from Chicago,\u201d Johnson said, noting the Roman Catholic Church\u2019s selection of Robert Francis Prevost<\/a>, who took the name Pope Leo XIV.<\/p>\n \u201cWe have an American pope, Chicago style, no ketchup,\u201d Johnson said. \u201cBut we like Pope Leo. We hope he does what we want. That\u2019s what you want the pope to do, what you want, right? Otherwise I\u2019ll have to send JD back to do his thing.\u201d<\/p>\n He added that Vice President Vance has the \u201cMidas touch, but for bad things\u201d: \u201cHe meets the pope \u2014 dead,\u201d Johnson said. \u201cHe goes to India \u2014 war. He joins my campaign \u2014 Trump wins.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n Johnson announced that he had just appointed \u201cone of the loudest people I know\u201d to be the interim U.S. attorney for Washington<\/a>: this was the cue for Strong\u2019s return as Pirro, a character she played frequently during her \u201cS.N.L.\u201d tenure.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n Noting the bag she was carrying, Johnson said, \u201cJeanine has brought her files and she\u2019s ready to work.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, no, this is the cozy for my Merlot-zy,\u201d Strong said as she took a bottle of wine out of the bag.<\/p>\n \u201cI love hiring people from Fox News,\u201d Johnson said. \u201cThey all do an incredible job. Just look at Pete Hegseth \u2014 not one mistake.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, I love Pete Hegseth; he\u2019s my old drinking buddy,\u201d Strong said, taking a swig from her wine glass.<\/p>\n Jost, making a rare sketch appearance to play Defense Secretary Hegseth, tapped Strong on the back, shouting \u201cSurprise!\u201d as he entered. Strong turned toward him and delivered an extended spit take into the side of Jost\u2019s face.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n As the sketch continued, she doused him with wine a second time and with whiskey that Jost opened his mouth and swallowed (after revealing that he\u2019d accidentally added Kim Jong-un to one of his group chats).<\/p>\n \u201cFolks, they\u2019re not the A-team,\u201d Johnson said. \u201cThey\u2019re the A.A. team.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n Opening monologue of the week<\/strong><\/p>\n After interrupting a loving Mother\u2019s Day homage from some of its cast members, \u201cS.N.L.\u201d made up for it by allowing Goggins, a star of \u201cThe White Lotus\u201d and \u201cThe Righteous Gemstones,\u201d to bring his own mother out of the audience and dance with her onstage \u2014 first to a slow R&B jam and then to a fast-paced interlude of clogging to a country tune.<\/p>\n Goggins also commented humorously on recent headlines that harshly described his physical appearance (like one that called him<\/a> \u201ca Greasy, Depressing Little Man Whom No One Saw Coming\u201d).<\/p>\n \u201cFor some reason, the part of that headline that offends me the most is the word \u2018whom,\u2019\u201d Goggins said. \u201cIt just sounds pretentious.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n Constitutional convention of the week<\/strong><\/p>\n Though it\u2019s somewhat bittersweet to see an \u201cS.N.L.\u201d sketch about the founding of America that doesn\u2019t include Nate Bargatze as George Washington<\/a> or Lin-Manuel Miranda as Alexander Hamilton<\/a>, Goggins capably filled that slot in this segment set in Philadelphia in 1789. After a founding father played by Johnson announced the text of the First Amendment, he opened the floor to ask what the second most important principle of this new nation should be.<\/p>\n Playing a fellow patriot known simply as Matt and wearing period clothes and a pair of tinted sunglasses, Goggins replied in a confident drawl: \u201cGuns,\u201d he said. Bring on those well-regulated militias.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n Music video of the week<\/strong><\/p>\n From the moment this music video starring Jane Wickline begins to the moment it ends, we can confidently assure you that you have no idea where it is going at any moment. Though the number begins as Wickline\u2019s tender ode to what she believes is a lost baby shoe she found in the Central Park Zoo, it veers off in a wildly different direction when she finds the shoe\u2019s true owner: a full-grown man (Goggins) with baby-size feet.<\/p>\n It\u2019s no spoiler to say that the video also includes a cameo from Goggins\u2019s friend and \u201cWhite Lotus\u201d co-star Sam Rockwell. Though he doesn\u2019t get a lot of screen time here, Rockwell \u2014 as he did on \u201cThe White Lotus\u201d<\/a> \u2014 certainly makes those precious seconds count.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n Weekend Update jokes of the week<\/strong><\/p>\n Over at the Weekend Update desk, the anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che continued to riff on the election of Pope Leo XIV, a recent appearance by former President Biden on \u201cThe View\u201d and President Trump\u2019s choice of Jeanine Pirro as interim U.S. attorney for Washington. Jost began:<\/p>\n Well, the Catholic Church has elected the first-ever pope from America. And as an American Catholic, I could not be more proud, which is a sin, and now I\u2019m ashamed. The Vatican has selected Cardinal Robert Francis Prevost, who is from the South Side of Chicago, to be the new pope. And you can tell he\u2019s from the South Side because he\u2019s got his hands up. This pick was actually a welcome surprise for me, because when I heard the pope was a super-religious guy from Chicago in a funny robe, I was worried it was Kanye. I also love that conservatives are already complaining that this pope is too woke. How woke can a 69-year-old man from Chicago be? It\u2019s not like he came out and was like, \u201cHey, I\u2019m Pope Leo XIV, he\/him.\u201d The reality is, there are no woke Catholics. If you\u2019re a woke Catholic, you\u2019re just not Catholic anymore.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Che continued:<\/p>\n Joe Biden appeared on \u201cThe View\u201d where he said he wasn\u2019t surprised Kamala Harris lost the election. Because the only thing that surprises Joe Biden are the words that come out of his own mouth. President Trump says he will appoint Fox News host Jeanine Pirro as interim U.S. attorney for Washington, DC. Pirro celebrated the news with a bottle of wine every day for the last 50 years.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n
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