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When Hind Khoudary left home early in the war to report on the wounded and dead arriving at a Gaza City hospital, she didn\u2019t realize it would be for the last time.<\/p>\n
While she was on assignment, Israel ordered the evacuation<\/a> of residents from northern Gaza and her family joined hundreds of thousands of Palestinians<\/a> fleeing south. Ms. Khoudary, 28, stayed to document the war, but couldn\u2019t return home after her neighborhood was bombed.<\/p>\n Ms. Khoudary has lived through four of the five wars between Israel and Hamas in the past 16 years. This time, she became homeless \u2014 without an adequate supply of clothing.<\/p>\n Reporting on mounting casualties consumed her, but after a week of stepping over smoky rubble and bloodied floors, she couldn\u2019t ignore the smell of her socks. She was relieved when another journalist gave her new ones.<\/p>\n \u201cI felt as if he gave me an iPhone, a MacBook \u2014 something I would wish for Christmas,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n A freelance reporter for Anadolu Agency, a Turkish news service, Ms. Khoudary has simultaneously been targeted by Hamas and scrutinized for posts critical of Israel in the past.<\/p>\n She reports in fluent English and is often one of a few female reporters at the scene of attacks, documenting endless scenes of destruction<\/a>.<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s no front or back line in Gaza,\u201d she said. \u201cIt is all the front line.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe have all grown numb and we\u2019ve all grown \u2018alligator skin\u2019 \u2014 it\u2019s an airstrike? Oh, OK, an airstrike,\u201d she said. \u201cWe no longer have reactions.\u201d<\/p>\n Ms. Khoudary describes what once stood where rubble is now: a salon, a children\u2019s play area, a wedding hall. She shares videos of her wartime life: empty shelves<\/a>, funerals<\/a>, families seeking shelter<\/a>.<\/p>\n Ms. Khoudary and her team live off dates to avoid contaminated food and sleep in an office where she collapses on her backpack. Since Israel imposed a \u201ccomplete siege<\/a>,\u201d water has become scarce.<\/p>\n \u201cI am officially dehydrated,\u201d she wrote on the social media platform X<\/a> on Nov. 4.<\/p>\n Ms. Khoudary remains separated from her family \u2014 her husband, mother, three brothers and 5-year-old nephew. But she is determined to keep followers informed.<\/p>\n \u201cPeople want to listen. People want to read,\u201d she said. \u201cNow, I feel a great responsibility.\u201d<\/p>\n Ms. Khoudary has been in the spotlight before.<\/p>\n In 2019<\/a>, Hamas detained her and accused her of spying for speaking to protesters arrested during demonstrations against the rising cost of living.<\/p>\n The next year, she appeared in The New York Times<\/a> for a Facebook post rebuking Palestinian activists for befriending Israelis over Zoom, and tagging Hamas officials. Critics accused her of endangering the activists\u2019 lives. She removed the post, denied support for Hamas and reminded critics that she had been jailed by them.<\/p>\n But she doubled down on her political stance: normalizing with the enemy was a \u201csin,\u201d she said on Facebook.<\/p>\n Now, Ms. Khoudary has become prominent for documenting the uncertainties she and others face in a brutal war.<\/p>\n On Nov. 3, as she was standing outside a hospital, an explosion rocked the densely populated area. Videos showed<\/a> at least a half-dozen bodies lying in pools of blood, and screaming children. Israel\u2019s military said it targeted an ambulance<\/a> \u201cbeing used by a Hamas terrorist cell,\u201d a claim that couldn\u2019t be verified independently.<\/p>\n \u201cPhysically, I\u2019m perfect. But psychologically, I am not,\u201d she said by telephone, her voice cracking.<\/p>\n Ms. Khoudary and Mr. Azaiza have lost many friends in this war, including the photojournalist Roshdi Sarraj<\/a>, who was killed at home on Oct. 22.<\/p>\n Their colleagues\u2019 families have not been spared, either. Al Jazeera Arabic\u2019s bureau chief in Gaza, Wael al-Dahdouh<\/a>, lost his wife, son, daughter and grandson in an attack. After a strike on their home, Mohammed Alaloul<\/a>, a cameraman for Anadolu, wept over the bodies of his four children, four siblings and three nephews.<\/p>\n Ms. Khoudary can\u2019t fathom how she and colleagues will process the personal scale of this war once they put their phones and cameras down.<\/p>\n \u201cWe are speechless and numb,\u201d she said. \u201cWe think that our souls are turned off.\u201d<\/p>\n NOOR HARAZEEN<\/strong>
@noor.harazeen<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n